She is a tricky lady. We constantly talk about her, seek to have her, become sad if she is not present and once she turns round we are so happy to have her. I choose to call motivation she, because she like this very unpredictable woman, whose moods swing, perceptions change.

As now I‘m 30 years old I know, that my life is based on her and very dependant of her. You would say it‘s an easy path to take – go only were motivation calls and encourages. But I‘m so very sick of doing things when there is no motivation, forcing my guts to act in a certain way, talk in a certain way and work in a certain way.

I guess that lady has a lot of outfits of different shades, because sometimes she makes me act more rebelion like. Be no mistaken, I‘m no rebel. I‘m just confused, why everyone around knows how should I live or how my life should be arranged. Why I‘m still not married, don‘t have kids, want 3 tatoos, and cut my hair short. Seems stupid when you write it down, but why I don‘t? Because I‘m very motivated (by others) to act differently than anyone expects.

 

Maybe it only makes sense in my mind. It is not hurting anyone. And if it does, well, it shouldn‘t.

So back to motivation and her cousin inspiration. I read one blog post, not very long time ago. It was very funny and so full of truth. We usually can do very much – study, work, have kids, social life, family time and hobbies – all at the same time. We all can do more, and everyday even more. But do we really want that. Well I‘m not sure I do.

So even though it is not New Years, my new resolution (#lifetimegoals) is to seek motivation and stick with it in every aspect of my life.

Ok, done with mind flow.